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Moon Emoji Sets

“We started with a simple hello, but ended with a complicated goodbye.”

Klondike, CPAM HQ, Emcee’s Desk – In joining the army community, I had no idea what was in store for me. I never expected to make unforgettable bonds, get involved in a large and complex community, hope to leave a mark on it, or spend endless hours on my computer dedicating time to people I had never met before. Yet, here we are, at the end of this incredible journey and though I jumped into the community with a short “hi,” I now leave with much more to say than just a short “goodbye”.

It’s a long road, but it’s worth it.

I joined the army community April 9, 2019 in a transitional stage of my life. I come out of it with many lessons learned, many friendships made, some destroyed, and others I am unsure of. I leave, hopefully having made some kind of positive impact, though I’m sure people will dispute that. All I know is that I did my best. I’ve put a lot of effort and time into this, that much I’m sure we can agree on, and I took on what I did all of my own accord. I know that, despite complaining at times about the stress of it all or the amount on my plate, it was always my choice to take on that responsibility. Excuse my whining in those moments of stress but, ultimately, I don’t regret what I took on. I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished in my time here. It has been exciting, funny, rewarding, amazing, stressful, frustrating, and so many other things.

I add this paragraph in after writing the entire rest of the post. Max gave me some advice. He said, Your retirement post is your one and only chance to talk about yourself and say how amazing you are.” When I look back, I hesitate, because I feel so small and insignificant in comparison to the grand marks others have made. I couldn’t have gotten to CEO and CPAM would never have existed without the intense collaboration of so many people. When I think of the amount of people and the efforts they put into this whole organization and community, how can I claim to be important in comparison? Yet, Max insisted I’ve left more of an impact than I realize. So, I thought about it, and I’ll note what I’m proud of as far as my achievements as part of the armies I was in.

  • I’m proud of having karaoke events in two armies and bringing my love for music into every place I step, hopefully leaving that appreciation there to continue on.
  • I’m proud of obtaining Troop of the Week in RPF, the first recognition that made feel so appreciated, loved, and welcomed in this community.
  • I’m proud of every recruit that I gained but didn’t answer me. I’m proud of the ones that did but that never said a word again. I’m proud of the ones that managed to make it to a few events. I’m proud even though only one of them can be found in any main chat today. That’s just my luck, right?
  • I’m proud of getting moderator alongside friends, every memory recruiting nightly with them, and every wild adventure moderating led me to (shout outs to early mod gang and those that got promoted with me, you know who you are).
  • I’m proud of voting three.
  • I’m proud of everything I learned along the way and everything Ulti, my mentor, taught me.
  • I’m proud of creating The Good Fight™ Podcast with Chaos and later on, Pookie and Moondog, which has evolved and lives on today.
  • I’m proud of working my way up slowly and persistently with my friends’ support to Third In Command and every bump along the way. I’m proud of reaching Second In Command and being orange even if it was only for a short period of time. That was a huge accomplishment in my mind and no one will take the effort I put in to achieve it or the short time I got to experience it away from me.
  • I’m proud of trying something different than what I was used to in ACP and proud of bringing my experience and ideas there. I’m proud of the new friends I made there.
  • I’m proud of reaching out to the CPA community as a troop and mod, making friends, and attempting to contribute as best as I can.
  • Yes, I’m proud of CPANN, because even though it was short lived and not as successful as CPAM, it taught me a lot and I’m thankful to Pookie for directing that opportunity my way, and everything it led to afterwards.
  • I’m proud of leading to the best of my ability, in RPF, RPF Strike Force, and ACP. I enjoyed leading immensely, I miss it, and I’m happy I got to experience it.
  • I’m proud of making all the memories I’ve made. I’m proud of (in no particular order and as I think of them) my love for muffins, the muppets, mailed moon necklaces and postcards, funny emotes discovered with new friends, my alma mater, the straightest showers imaginable, mentees who were also friends, Moon Emoji Enterprises, Momcee (even if the joke is so tired now), toenail emojis, forgetful fish, clowns who wah wah wah, $10 in my venmo for popcorn I still haven’t finished eating, a shared unhealthy love for vapes and cute kittens saying hello, yelling nonsensically in my car on voice chats, ya like chicken y-, daughters that speak in italics, podcast fathers, lumberjacks, a certain simp,  a newfound love for Minecraft that I didn’t have before, being the queen of space, and… so many other things, I’m overwhelmed trying to think of every important memory.
  • I’m proud of thinking of CPAM and the part I played in it, even if, looking back, I think it’s actually quite insignificant in comparison to every other person who had a hand in making it a reality, making it successful, and building it into the organization it stands as at the end of this amazing journey I’ve had.

In reality, I suppose my pride lays in who I’ve met and the ensuing experiences, not just my own involvement and accomplishments throughout. Every leader, CEO, figure, legend, or otherwise is really nothing without the community, people they meet along the way, and desire to contribute alongside them.

Just do your best, and forget the rest.

A lot of people didn’t know CPAM was my idea because I didn’t have a habit of broadcasting it. My hope was to push against the divisive nature of the community and instill the idea that we can set aside our differences for the greater good if we want to. At the time, I didn’t want RPF’s involvement in CPA to end because I honestly didn’t want to throw out its roots and history in armies. I’ve heard people call me naive for thinking we could cut down on toxicity if we worked together or say that I only wanted power and a shiny role at the top of a hierarchy. Believe what you want, but I truly believed in the idea of being the hand through which army leaders molded army policies. I only ever came from a place of wanting to help.

To that end, I’ve made army leader and community concerns my priority and tried to make sure, in my time here, that you’re all heard with varying levels of success depending on the issue. Something you learn quickly is you can’t make everyone happy. I settled for making a difference where I can and making sure the organization stays as close to its intended values as I can.

I thought this community was cool, something an anthropologist could really dig into studying. It’s amazing what CPA has accomplished throughout its existence, the way every single member contributes to build a world that lives on every army website, in every Discord and its infrastructure, in every HCOM and CPPS we use, and every event we host, attend, or judge. I’ve loved being part of it, and I’ve honestly struggled to let go. I’ve had so much fun doing this and I’m nervous to step out of its future, but I know I have to let go and trust our new CPAH staff to do what we’ve prepared them to do. I believe in them and I hope this community will show them the same courtesy its shown me and then some.

Mistrust makes life difficult. Trust makes it risky.

Being part of this community has not been without its trials, especially for someone like me. We haven’t really looked into what the majority of the community looks like but I think it’s safe to say that I don’t fit the usual demographic. It’s been challenging to balance taking on this much responsibility in such a large, diverse, and complex crowd. That being said, this is my advice for those I leave behind:

Stay safe. Make a new email. Secure your passwords. Don’t give out your pictures, your name, or anything that can be traced back to you to anyone you don’t absolutely 100% trust. Block people who make you feel unsafe, don’t tolerate uncomfortable DMs, and work with friends, staff, and people you trust to make safe choices. Internet safety is important. Online culture allows for the smoke screen of anonymity. We’re all a little bit different online than we are outside of it and some people will take advantage of that. Don’t let them take advantage of you. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s to take this aspect even more seriously than I ever have. If you’re not sure that you’re internet safe and you want to be or there’s a reason for concern, DM me or any of CPAM staff. CPAM and its successor, CPAH, take internet safety so seriously and it’s a cornerstone of their operations and my own values.

Stick to your truths and what you believe in. I didn’t get to this point by being complicit. I value those of you who speak your mind and try to make a difference. Remain open to new ideas, faithful to what is right, and resilient amidst whatever negativity is thrown at you. Don’t care what negative things anyone says about you, as long as you know who you are and what you want to do. This is the one thing that has kept me moving forward as I made daily decisions throughout my time here. I can’t believe, sometimes, the crazy rumors I hear. Ignore it all, it’s not worth your time. I’ve tried my best to do the right thing and that is all anyone can ask from any of us. Do that and you will always have the right to lift your head up and be proud of what you’ve done. Value yourself and let that be enough, because no one else will value you the way you will.

In the same vein, take criticism into account, and do not be offended by it. Remember to examine yourself critically. We are all human. We all make mistakes and this is a children’s game. Forgive yourself, learn from them, and use it to fuel your drive as you move forward and make new, more informed decisions. Your mistakes do not define you. Your growth and response to those mistakes do. Surround yourself with people who will speak their mind, be honest with you, and stick with you no matter what the disagreement. These are the people who care about you and will help you the most in that goal. I can’t tell you how many times there have been disagreements within staff as we worked on CPAM together, but we always figured it out. Keeping an open mind is just as difficult as sticking to what you believe in but there is a balance that you can and will find with time.

Perhaps most importantly, make your own mind. You have your own thoughts and opinions. Don’t let others influence you or sway you off your own path even as you do keep an open mind. Do not live your life for others or make your choices for others. Whatever mark you leave here, do it for the community, and for yourself. Don’t let other people walk all over you. Don’t let them use you. Treat your trust as a gift. Don’t give it to anyone and everyone. Don’t jump on board with what everyone else is doing, but remain thoughtful and critical. I remember the times I forgot to think for myself and instead, followed along the paths of others or jumped in with a crowd even if I wasn’t sure that I agreed. I feel stronger when I remember to follow my own heart.

This all sounds really deep for Club Penguin, but these are probably the most valuable lessons I learned as part of this community and they all tie into each other. I’ve gained and lost so much in this time and I’ve been forced to take a good look at myself so often. I can’t change what others think or do in regards to what I’ve done here but I know that I can change myself. This community teaches you to keep learning, growing, and improving. If you do that, there’s nothing to be ashamed of and so much to be proud of. I appreciate that lesson and I’d like to emphasize it as I leave.

There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family.

To some of the people I surrounded myself with that stuck with me:

Ayan: How the fuck did we DO THIS? LMAO! When I first started talking to you, I had no idea what it would be like to work with you but it became second nature so quickly. We’ve accomplished so much together. That small server we made with less than 5 armies in the Top Ten, small first tournament, and maybe a post a week became a Top Twenty, a S/M Top Ten, a Legends Cup tournament, and several posts a day. If you compare CPAM in March to the CPAM now, it’s unrecognizable. I don’t know if I’ve done even half or a quarter of what you’ve done for this organization to get it to this point. Your accomplishments far exceed mine and I’ve been awe struck. Thank you so goddamn much for taking my little idea, believing in it, and putting in unprecedented time and effort into it. I could’ve never, ever made it this successful without you and no one will ever really know how dedicated to this community you are the way I do. They didn’t see you behind the scenes, pouring so much into it. It was never easy. I don’t think it ever could be, with what we were trying to do. Every time we both wanted to quit, though, we always gave each other the support we needed to get through it and move on. I am so thankful that you were the person chosen to head this at the beginning. What I got to create alongside you has been absolutely incredible. It’s, honestly, inspiring to work with you. Even outside of CPAM, I hope to continue being “the justice to your sense of chaos.” If you ever need help with an English class or just an editor, I’ll be happy to rip into your grammar some more in the future. 😉

Pookie: I considered making this solely funny or skipping over it so you could yell at me but I can’t! This post lets me get out what I want to say before I disappear from relevancy so you get cheesy bull shit and you’re gonna deal with it. You are one of the most frustrating people I’ve ever met! You’re ridiculous, a clown, stubborn as hell, and I wish you would take things more seriously when I’m tryna get shit done! Sometimes, we get on each other’s nerves so much, I think we’re officially done being friends thanks to how stressed out we both get. Then, we take a breather. We come back and regroup. That’s when we’re in peak form. When we’re in that groove, especially Da Big Three or Fantastic Four, it’s magic. You’re not just frustrating. You’re also hardworking, honest, smarter than you give yourself credit for, dedicated, and you always have my back, even when you’d rather decapitate me. I don’t think you liked CPAM very much at first but I am glad that you came on board when I asked you to moderate the chat months ago. I knew you were the one I could count on for the job and I was pleasantly surprised when you stepped up to take on other forms of responsibility. I think you love CPAM now the way Ayan and I do, and you’re just as proud of its progress. You’ve been working with us since early days and you know how to take care of this place. In the past couple months, we’ve had you take on more and more. This next part isn’t an easy task we’re handing off to you, but I am confident in your abilities. When you put your mind to it, you’re excellent at this. You’re gonna do great things, Pook. Congratulations and good luck! Get some closey close around all your new responsibilities. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Koloway: Boy oh boy, have we had one roller coaster ride together in the past year or what? When I first met you, I thought you were incredibly rude! I remember talking to Pookie about the attitude you gave me in RPF main when I was a baby blue and you were teal. Now, we have that moment often, where we realize how insane it is how far we’ve come since then. Our friendship has evolved so much, it’s completely unrecognizable, in addition to our working relationship which is fire. You’re a passionate, talented, smart kid, Kolo. I was happy to assist in writing your Legends bio this year so that I could capture that essence and I hope I did you justice. I think we’ve both made a lot of mistakes up until this point, but I have been happy to grow with you and proud of the growth I see in you. Thank you for letting me break down when I let myself get too overwhelmed and letting me see a side of you not everyone gets to see. I have such high hopes for you, loko, I can’t wait to see where life takes you. Keep scrolling, brother!

Max: Boy, I did not see you speeding up the ranks like that out of nowhere. You were spectacular from the beginning, Max. You have passion for cohesive, smart, clean, and factual writing as well as pushing out posts like no one I’ve ever seen in this community. I am constantly impressed by you and working closely alongside you has been an absolute pleasure. I didn’t talk to you much when I was in ACP but I remember thinking you were cool. After I left, I was pretty sure you didn’t like me. Once you joined CPAM and started moving up though, we both re-bonded through our passion for the organization and I’m so happy we got that opportunity. You’re one of the most chill, reliable people in this community and you’re such a good person who wants the best for everyone involved here. I really respect your neutrality and passion for fairness. Thank you for reminding me that I have a lot to offer too, and of my own importance when I struggle to see it myself. You’ve always been encouraging and that’s been such a gift. I look forward to the great things you continue to achieve and in all aspects in your life. Congratulations and thank you for being just wonderful to work with.

Cassie: Thank you for the constant support, taking my messages, keeping track of appointments, knowing when my meetings are, taking notes during those meetings, directing people to the appropriate source when I’m not available, checking my e-mail, and the various other secretarial duties you perform. Thanks for coming back, even just for a little while, and filling a position that we desperately needed filled. To this day, you’ve been a consistent presence, slapping sense into me, helping my overwhelmed ass, and reminding me when I need to take a chill pill or five. You know when it’s time for me to put things down and take a break or when I’m neglecting myself. You’ve reminded me, along with a couple others, how absolutely amazing I am when I’m pouring effort into something and how much I can accomplish. That meant so much to me, Cassie. You might be the reason why this has been the most positive move I’ve made for myself in a while. It was a slap across the face realization, I won’t lie, but the truth hurts and you’re never afraid to be honest. It woke me up and it’s pushed me to seek out a more fulfilling path for myself. Thank you. You’ll never know how important that impact was. And just like that, now I’m movin’ right along. Can you picture that? You’re gonna kill me for both those references but it’s fine as long as you don’t tell me you’re crying!

Ulti: Without you, this would’ve NEVER happened. As a side note, thank you to every RPF HCOM that said yes to this idea that day and thank you to every person in that group chat where we first discussed it and supported it. But mostly thank you to Ulti, who saw it, encouraged it and me from day one, and kept pushing it along to get the ball rolling. You gave me all the tools I needed, set up the group chat, helped set up the server, checked in to make sure we were on track, and kept your faith in me as both a mentor and a friend. You were there whenever we had a qualm or whenever Ayan and I needed a tie breaker. You are the person in this community who probably knows me best at this point and the definition of the kind of person I want to surround myself with. You always strive to understand my perspective while offering other perspectives, criticism, and encouragement. You’re honest with me and extremely communicative. You also know when I’m being stupid or emotional and when to just let me talk it out. Your support has meant the world to me in this entire experience and I really don’t know what I would have done without you. I can’t thank you enough for all the good times, your presence in the excruciatingly bad times, every terribly funny joke, dealing with my annoying, sometimes lengthy, pings/DMs, responding to every single one without fail with words of advice or understanding, and always believing in me whether it be Club Penguin related or otherwise. You said once that you wanted that giggly, silly, ridiculous person you met last year to make a return. She’s comin’ back and I owe quite a bit of that to you. Thank you. By the way…. Wanna watch Erased some time? 😀

Eden: So, this is what having a little brother is like! For all the disagreements we’ve had, thank you for putting your faith in me. I hope that I didn’t let you down. I know that I can count on you and I hope you feel you can do the same with me. I’m sure we’ll be talking soon, don’t worry.

Flen: Stop yelling at me!! I’m kidding, honestly, I wish you would slow down sometimes but your skills with code and your passion for this community is overflowing. You’ve had my back in times where I thought it was all going to fall a part and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. Thank you, Flen.

If you’re not mentioned above, it doesn’t mean you’re not important. I chose staff that have heavily impacted my time in CPAM only, and I’m also supposed to have had this finished like 20 minutes ago, whoops! There are too many of you that have left a mark on my time here and on who I am. I love you all so much.

War On!

This phrase is awful and I’m glad we didn’t end up using it, but it was the prototype for a CPAM motto. I think it’s funny and appropriate to end on this note. This isn’t the end for CPA and it isn’t the end of my involvement. I’ll still be around, just in a much lesser capacity as I become occupied with more important things in my life. My priorities need a desperate shift and I look forward to new adventures outside of CPA. Unity has finally been achieved and there is much more to create, to build, to achieve, here. Maybe it will all end, but my philosophy has always been, so long as there is a community willing to push forward and a possibility to do so, I will continue to support and act according to that will. I hope that everyone who chooses to do so after I am gone will do so with safety, positivity, cooperation, and the enjoyment of all that finds armies. Whether you’re retiring and moving on, a veteran witnessing this as an observer, a returner looking to make a mark still, one of the “new generation” seeking their own place, or you found this as a stranger to our crazy community, whatever army you are in, fight the good fight, march on, war on!

Emcee

Chief Executive Officer

One Response

  1. Its amazing, I never thought this community would make it this far. Partly perhaps, you’re to thank for that. I think you’ve done an incredible job and the likes of Woton, Skloop, Iasage, and the whole lot from the likes of CPAC and company would be proud (I sure am!). You made a momentary lapse in retirement that began all the way back in 2012 very memorable and worthwhile.

    All my best,

    Your friend.

    (Keep in touch!)

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